Lorne, Perfect for Scientific Machinations

The family trips to the beach are supposed to be a relaxed time, Mother says. We’re supposed to spend time as a family, Father says. Outside of this obligation, however? I seek to pursue my research, for the good of science. After all, coastal areas contain a plethora of minerals that are just ripe for extra study, and I simply cannot wait for the opportunity to advance my scientific endeavours.

Little do the parents know, this luxury accommodation in Lorne and the booking forthwith was all due to my machinations. Long have I desired the time to study ocean geography, and yet our family is ill-disposed towards beach holidays. The beaches of Melbourne are unsuitable for proper research, contaminated as they are by industrial waste and humans in general. However, I had an inkling that Mother and Father were inclined towards a relaxing beach holiday. They have been rather stressed at work, and the older sister is causing them untold amounts of grief during her transition into being an adolescent. And thus, I began to lay hints that Lorne would make for a perfect family getaway. Sun, sand, the beach, all the things that regular humans associate with ‘good times’! Even the sister found herself enticed by the small collection of alternative shops and hidey-holes where she could escape the influence of the parents, for a time.

After that, the process was mere child’s play. I ordered a catalogue under a false name, that was ‘accidentally’ delivered to our family home. Under the guise of innocence, I opened the catalogue and left it on the counter to the page on accommodation in Lorne. Quite the impressive spread.

And now, the holiday is underway! I’m having trouble sneaking away to study silt patterns and ocean currents, but I’m allowed a certain amount of autonomy. Fortunately, no one has yet discovered the small laboratory I have set up underneath the stairs…and I’d like to keep it that way.

-Albert