A Celebrity in My Town?

Shara, in my town? It’s more likely than you think.

She looks a bit different, her hair has changed and of course she’s not surrounded by thousands of adoring fans like she used to be, but I could swear I saw her in the Sorrento high street yesterday. I’m ashamed to say that I did a bit of a stalk job through the supermarket, just to get a good look at her face. Don’t blame me, I was her biggest fan! I had every CD, went to every concert, even got her autograph at the Carols by Candlelight in Sydney Park. Ooh, I wonder if she remembers me!

Maybe I’ll never know. It’s not like I’ll ever have a reason to go in her house and meet her, like those lucky Sorrento pest control people. I just…happened to be outside her house, and I saw them going in. I felt like taking up the subject on my old Shara Appreciation Blog: National Pop Star Gets Pest Control, No Doubt Does it Fabulously. Maybe she sang to them as they did their pest control work. Just the thought makes my heart beat a little bit faster. I loved her album Thousand Pieces, even if it wasn’t anywhere near one of her most popular. Did you know that Shara wrote all her own lyrics and did most of her own event planning? It’s true! She was a woman in control of her own career.

Now she lives in my town, squee! I’ve been casually watching through her front window and it looks like she’s settled. Maybe, and this sounds a bit crazy (or maybe it doesn’t??), but just perhaps I might be able to get a job as a pest control expert. I used my emergency binoculars to see that she has a wood fire, and when wood gets damp that’s an invitation for termites. I’ll get a job elsewhere, so as not to seem suspicious. Like, a termite control place in Frankston. Then I’ll post a flyer through Shara’s door, she’ll call us in and then…I can confess my fandom, all the while removing her termites and making her eternally grateful. IT’S FOOLPROOF.

-Cressida