Don’t Knock the Antenna Guys

I don’t know why youth groups get such a bad rep. They’re actually really fun if you just get into them, and you know exactly what you’re in for. Yes, I’m perfectly aware that our youth groups leader is not the King of Love, and I’ve never actually seen him eat any gravel so I cannot confirm or deny that he needs to eat it, lest he become enraged. But it’s all part of the fun. Go along to the meetings, chant some funny chants, always answer enthusiastically when asked if your devotion to the cause is absolute, and then giggle behind their backs.

I’m having a blast. Last night’s meeting was on television, and how the government is using it as a means to suck the love out of our brains and use it to power their satellites. They weren’t particularly kind about Melbourne’s antenna specialists, either, and to be fair, I’m not okay with that. It’s because of television that I first watched the documentary on this youth groups and decided to sign up. I’ve always found antenna and satellite dish specialists to be hardworking and decent, especially with how they work very high up on some jobs. Seriously, they do a lot for people living in high-rise apartments. Risk of death included.

So I almost stood up in the meeting (people do that a lot, but mostly just to applaud, tears running down their faces, as they sing a short hymn of praise to our gravel-loving king) and said something. But that would be dissent, and they don’t really like that. They might even declare me to be a non-believer and excommunicate me, and then my fun would be ruined. No, no, I need to play it cool. Maybe even convince them from the inside that a fast TV antenna repair company in Melbourne is a credit to society, and not part of the government plot. And maybe we can lay off on the plans to construct a set of lasers to bring down all the satellites, because hey, why bother? I clearly have a lot of work to do.

-Clarice