Local flower legends returns

The Keymore community has been stunned by the dramatic return of Irma Blomqvist, a local flower seller who supposedly died in a tragic dandelion incident several months ago. Residents were told that Irma, known locally as ‘The Flower Queen’, had perished with her funeral taking place in Sweden, and her house looked after by an Australian granddaughter. However, Irma shocked the community on Saturday by setting up her stall at the weekly market as normal, and acting ‘cheerfully puzzled’ when questioned about how she had returned from the grave.

“I don’t think it’s Irma, personally,” says resident Clara Stine. “Oh, the gladioli are back, as vivid and blooming as ever. They’re Irma’s flowers, but she’s not acting like herself. The old Irma would just roll over when you asked her to grow a certain flower, a pillar of the community who did what she was told. This morning I asked about some of her hippeastrums for Nan’s birthday, and she just cackled and told me to jump off a bridge. It’s got to be an imposter!”

However, other residents have stated that Keymore’s Flower Queen has returned, with a drastic attitude adjustment.

“Oh, it’s her alright,” says knitting stall owner Franchesca Law. “I know Irma when I see her. It’s just the type of thing she’d do, the sly old fox. She always was a hoot while we were growing up. Good to see her back, and still growing the best summer bulbs in the community. No one else does it like her!”

Further inspections of the aforementioned tuberous begonias flowers, as well as a variety of roses and climbing flowers, ascertained that they were indeed of the quality remembered by the townsfolk. When interviewed, simply engaged in more amused cackling before telling the news crew that they’d better buy some calla lilies or shove off.