Planning the company end of year bash

People have all these ideas about what business should be like. It’s all cutthroat, people will trample over you for the positions they want, you have to know the stock market like the back of your hand…and then there are all those office stereotypes and tropes. Stealing someone else’s lunch, stealing someone else’s mug, water cooler conversations, that jerk Chad from accounting, that cow Judy from HR, stealing someone else’s parking space, stealing someone else’s pen, brown-nosing, and I could go on.

To be fair, a lot of those are true. That cow Judy from HR repeatedly steals my parking space, then bitches about me to Chad over the water cooler about that one time I stole her mug. One time!! But there are the office positives as well. Security so long as you do your job right, air conditioning, perks, and the occasional social. The boss knows ALL the private function rooms that are in Melbourne. In fact, I think he even owns a few of them. I’ve never actually talked to him, but I know who he is because he likes to walk through the office every now and again. His picture is on practically every wall and we all have to read his latest autobiography every year, so…yeah, pictures aren’t a problem. We also have to stop working and stand whenever he approaches, but…also keep working. That’s tough, but we’re supposed to be the best of the best.

So yeah, anyway, function rooms. We recently had a function celebrating a great financial year, and we weren’t given any warning, but I feel like that was better. We would’ve been terribly unproductive if we’d known something like that was coming up, so I was able to complete my work to the utmost before it was sprung on me. I didn’t spend my entire day gushing over what I was to wear to one of Melbourne’s best venues for hire, and thus the integrity of my work was not compromised.

Mr Lawrence is wise. Mr Lawrence knows and sees all, and his way is best. I’m happy to work at this wonderful company. Very happy.