The True Magic of Plumbing

My general principle of life is this: if you have two things you truly love, mash them together. Then you have one thing that you love even more, and you can even do both at the same time. It can even work with three things, but four is where it starts to get a bit hairy, I’ve found. I once thought I’d give a dinner party, combined with a housewarming with a disco included. That part worked just fine. My combination of curly fries, rice pudding and buttered sprouts didn’t go down quite as well.

Still, I’ve always loved magic and plumbing. In many ways they’re almost the same thing…so many ways…so I thought I’d put myself right up there in the ranks of the plumbers in Melbourne and become the first plumbing magician ever to exist. The idea is that I’d establish my business and get the first few calls since people didn’t know what I was selling and wanted to find out. The curiosity factor, you see…it’s a powerful thing in both plumbing and magic. I’d already taken the plumbing basics course and I was well-versed in the ways of the magic circle, so I thought I was ready.

Most plumbers I’ve met just quietly get on with the job. My business was run…differently. No, I’d invite anyone who wanted to come along, and they only had to bring their own chairs. The entire process was run like a magic show, so I’d remove the pipes, ask people if they could see any mould or build-up. Sometimes there would be a blockage, and using my immense sleight of hand and cunning, I would fix the problem before their very eyes without anyone noticing. And then there would be a flock of birds or a loud, smoky bang.

I like to think it could’ve taken off if people had spread the word a bit more, but unfortunately, plumbing companies in Melbourne are now just the regular kind. I suppose magic shows by themselves are…okay. And now I can do all my own plumbing.

-Pierre